Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night
by Pikapegasus
Summary: Series of random one-shots based on songs that come up via shuffle on my iPod. Most will be personal character reflection or interaction between two characters. Pairings may be explored. No set characters for each entry. Pretty much will be all over the place. (Marked as complete, but will be updated occasionally.)
1. Message in a Bottle

_**Author's Note: UGH I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND LIFE I CAN'T EVEN**_

_**I haven't had time to work on When the Eagles Cry or Family is Magic ." I fail, I know... **_

_**But man I'm still trying to recover from 200... That's what brought upon this one shot. 200 kinda gave me some of the writing motivation I had lost, so I decided "I'm going to put my iPod on shuffle and write a oneshot inspired by the song that first comes on and tie it into 200." Yep. **_

_**This is probably hecka disorganized and all over the place. I just wanted to write something and this one shot happened.**_

_**Now this is going to become a string of one shots, all based on songs that come up when I shuffle my iPod. I've seen other people do it before, and it looks so cool! They're all going to be short, stand-alone one shots from different parts of the series. Not sure if I'll use any pairings yet but we'll see when we get there. :)**_

_**I also decided to just name the whole collection "Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night" since 1. that song played a significant role in 200 2. 50th year anniversary of Beatlemania this year, booyah! 3. I love the Beatles and that song**_

* * *

**Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night**

Chapter 1: Message in a Bottle

_I'll send an SOS to the world._

_I'll send an SOS to the world._

_I hope that someone gets my,_

_I hope that someone gets my,_

_I hope that someone gets my_

_Message in a bottle._

- The Police

* * *

JJ blinked back tears as she entered her security code into the computer placed in front of her. She shivered as she reread her code, knowing that somewhere on the other end, Penelope would be reading it and the team would figure it out. Or, at least, she hoped so, assuming the team enlisted Emily's help.

The laptop was pulled away from her by her captors and she bowed her head in defeat. Her message was indeed an SOS to the team to come save her and Cruz from their predicament. How much longer they could endure the torture... She wasn't sure. She hoped it would be long enough for the team to find them.

Then her mind wandered. How was the team reacting to all of this? They were probably working against all orders of their superiors, since they were dipping their feet into the waters of a classified case. Part of her almost wished for them to not worry and risk their jobs over her, but she knew that that was not how she should be thinking.

She remembered the race against time they were all running when Emily had been taken by Doyle. Though the former agent initially went after him solo and put herself in harm's way, she had secrets and lies going for her, just like JJ right now.

Emily, albeit discretely, told JJ to trust their friends in situations like these. The raven haired "fallen" agent at the time had told her she invented the "I don't trust anyone" look. Oh, the truth and irony behind those words.

This led to JJ thinking of her friendship with the team and how they had all lost their trust in her after Emily's ordeal. Would they be the same way now, too? Would all the work that she had put into rebuilding her bonds with each person for the past two and a half years be lost for good this time? Surely, they understood she was under oath and the case was classified...

JJ thought back to her code. Blackbird. Its significance. She hoped it wouldn't be lost on the team.

* * *

She was right. Her "message in a bottle," so to speak, had worked.

Emily was currently helping her out of her restraints.

"Emily, I knew they would call you...!" JJ said tiredly, her voice laced with both pain and relief at the same time.

However, her own job in defending the country was not yet over. Hastings was still out there, somewhere. The double agent... JJ only wished she had seen it sooner.

As Emily turned her back on the blonde and Hotch was busy helping Matt, JJ grabbed the gun on the ground and made a silent run for it. She just _had _to catch Hastings. This was all his doing.

She was already out the door as she distantly heard Emily's voice saying, "She was just here..."

The blonde continued running outside, focused on catching up to Hastings. She briefly glanced to her left, watching as her team was in a firefight with Hastings and Askari's men. Part of her wanted to stop and help them, but JJ kept running. If she stopped now, Hastings would be long gone with all the information Integrity was meant to hold as a secret, away from people like him.

JJ could hear footseps behind her, knowing they were Emily's. Like old times, the now Interpol agent had the JJ's back. Always.

* * *

"I've got you." Emily said exasperatedly as she held onto the JJ's arms for dear life while the rest of her lower body hung off the building.

JJ had glanced down in time to watch Hastings fall to the ground, dead. It was over. Emily pulled her back up onto the roof and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I've got you." The brunette repeated, still exasperated and voice shaking, but with more assurance as she held her best friend closely.

JJ smiled faintly as she wrapped her arms around the Interpol agent. Someone had indeed gotten her message in a bottle.


	2. Comatose

_**Author's Note: I started this one the same night as the "Message in a Bottle" one. This one was inspired by Skillet's song "Comatose," my favorite song by them of all time! **_

_**This one-shot takes place during Emily's "dead time" (if ya get what I mean). I am a sucker for team-related feels (this show and Agents of SHIELD get me all the time fffff) and I decided to express the emotion behind Emily's statement when she told Reid that while he "grieved for one friend, I had to grieve for six." Yep. **_

* * *

**Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night**

Chapter 2: Comatose

_I hate feeling like this_

_So tired, of trying to fight this_

_I'm asleep and all I dream of_

_Is waking to you!_

_Tell me that you will listen_

_When your touch is what I'm missin'_

_And the more I hide I realize_

_I'm slowly losing you!_

_Comatose_

_I'll never wake up without an_

_Overdose_

_Of you!_

- Skillet

* * *

Emily Prentiss' life sucked right now. And there had almost not been a "right now." She had gone after Doyle, solo, and almost lost her life in doing so. At least, she thought she could take him on her own and be done with it.

But that didn't happen. She now lay in a hospital bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. JJ said something about Doyle being on the run? Faking her death? The team wouldn't know?

The brunette backed up. _The team wouldn't know? _Hadn't she already played that card enough? When would she be able to return to their warm embrace? Would she ever?

She knew she had been out for a while, she had only woken up after all the treatment she'd received the day before. But had she _really _woken up?

This reality JJ spoke of sounded like a nightmare to Emily. Living alone, without her best friends even knowing she was _alive. _No, Emily wouldn't be "awake" until she was living with them in her life again.

She drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_I hate living without you,_

_Dead wrong to ever doubt you._

_But my demons lay in waiting,_

_Tempting me away._

_Oh, how I adore you!_

_Oh, how I thirst for you!_

_Oh, how I need you!_

* * *

Emily Prentiss' life still sucked. Sure, she actually felt _alive _again, as she wasn't confined to a white hospital room with a bunch of doctors and nurses running around. But she was alone. It was more loneliness than she had ever felt before.

The brunette sat on her bed in her classified location in Europe, deep in thought. True loneliness... It can't be felt until you know what it means to _not _be alone, she mused. Emily had been lonely before joining her dear BAU team, yeah, but she had _never _felt as miserable as she did now, knowing what her life was lacking.

_I'm sorry I can't be with you guys. _Emily silently apologized to her team, far away, knowing they wouldn't hear her, but knowing she needed to say _something _instead of _nothing. I'm sorry for lying, sorry for not trusting you, sorry for doubting you all... But I can't come back until Doyle is apprehended. Please catch him soon, that way, we can be reunited. _

She wanted nothing more than to walk into the bullpen, grab some coffee and make her way over to her desk.

Upon sitting down, Reid would spout off some new factoid he had learned since their last conversation.

Morgan would probably walk by to say "hi" and slip some of his case files into Reid's pile, knowing the genius would get them done faster than he ever could.

Since Morgan would be out and about, Garcia would come running in and greet her "Chocolate Adonis" with some new innuendo and dirty talk, which would be returned by said man.

Ashley would constantly look over and laugh while she did her own work and studied for academy tests.

Rossi would walk by, but then quickly try to escape, as Garcia cornered him for one of his Italian recipes.

Finally, Hotch would come down to the scene, and tell them to get back to work, but with a small smile on his face.

Emily felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. No crying, she was already going through enough stress. She sighed as she wondered what their reactions to her death had been. Sorrow? Anger? Betrayed by her lack of trust? Did they even grieve her death? Surely they had. And she grieved the loss of them.

The brunette hated the shadow of a life she was living now. She could only hope that the team was working the case of Doyle still, so it could all be over. Suddenly Emily felt guilty for her wish. What if the team didn't want her back? What if she had gone too far this time?

Emily tried to clear her head of these thoughts as she lay down on her bed, not bothering to get under the covers. She needed sleep. But mostly, she wanted to wake up from the coma that was her life right now.


	3. Crime and Punishment

_**Author's Note: My life has been a whirlwind for the past couple of weeks, and it has yet to slow down x_x" I managed to crank out this oneshot tonight, though. It's almost like a sequel to the last oneshot, "Comatose." But it's up to you, reader, if you want it to be. **_

_**I didn't mean to make another Emily-during-Doyle-arc story! Eep! I just couldn't think of a better way to use this song while staying in the normal canon of the show, though I think my Emily reflection stories push it a bit. This might be a bit OOC, but I don't have time to revise it much. **_

_**And since this was my iPod, yes, I am a Vocaloid fan. For those of you who don't know, it's a kind of Japanese music. Yup, so the original song is in Japanese, and the lyrics here are the English translation. **_

* * *

**Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Light **_  
_

Chapter 3: Crime and Punishment

_If only you had the ears I have, then I would sing you a song from the bottom of my heart, _

_But would you hear me?_

_If only you had the heart that I have, then I would flood you with all of the love I have,_

_But would you feel me?_

- Hatsune Miku

* * *

Emily wanted to cry after seeing the pure look of betrayal on her dear friends' faces—aside from JJ and Hotch, of course—as she "resurrected" in front of their eyes. They hated her for sure.

Their first case after her return had been pure proof of that, as Reid and JJ even had a fall out. Aside from Morgan and Garcia, Reid and JJ were the closest of best friends on the team, and yet their strong bond seemed to be long gone.

And what about Emily's bonds with each member of the team? Though they may be smiling on the outside, Emily knew that they felt like hell on the inside, because she did too. Of course she still loved them all this time she was gone! They were her best friends, some of the first people she ever allowed to get as close to her as they were in her entire life. And for years, that strong friendship and love had been mutual.

And now it didn't seem to be.

Garcia, of course, was happy of the brunette's return, but still seemed a bit less energetic than normal. Morgan was, well, Morgan, but a bit… less? He still seemed to house some anger and betrayal with the whole situation, but most of all, Emily couldn't shake the vibe of disappointment Morgan seemed to also be giving off.

Thinking of Reid's feelings, Emily could almost laugh at how tragically their friendship had seemed to end. He wasn't taking any of her, JJ, or Hotch's words on the matter, and decided that his trust in them had been broken. Rossi, as usual, was hard to read, but seemed to continue on as if nothing happened.

Emily knew her friendship and love with certain members of the team was one-sided right now. Oh, if only there was a way to change that…

* * *

_Hey, if you are predisposed to hate me, _

_Might as well kill me now and save me from this misery. _

_If I can't earn all of your love, you don't need me at all,_

_At all,_

_At all. _

_Bah._

* * *

There just wasn't a way to improve things, was there? Emily was convinced of that now. Had she _really_ gotten her old life back? It sure didn't feel like it. Had she actually _survived_? Because she definitely didn't want to live in a world where her friends hated her like they seemed to now.

Emily had given up so much to protect them, including their trust and the possibility to beat Doyle the original time he had come to DC that year. She realized her mistake now. But she knew there was no way to undo the past.

Maybe the team didn't want her back, maybe her fears had been right. If they had wanted her back, they would have found Doyle quicker, right? Wait, no, that didn't make sense, because none of them knew that she was alive, except for JJ and Hotch. Emily shook her head in confusion and denial. No. She had to remain strong and remember that they all loved her, just couldn't trust her anymore. …Right?

* * *

"_If only you had," it won't get me anywhere now._

_I wouldn't go anywhere even if it could be._

* * *

"Emily?" The new-old agent in question looked up at the sound of her name.

"Reid. What's up?" Emily hoped this was the first step in them repairing their damaged relationship.

"Why didn't you tell us about Doyle?" Reid asked her quietly. Though it sounded innocent and curious, Emily wondered if she could really detect some suspicion in his tone. She tried to turn her brain and its accusing thoughts off.

Emily bit her lip, forming her answer carefully. "I wanted to protect you guys." She answered calmly. Then she let out a sigh. "Look, I know I was wrong. I now know my mistake."

"Didn't you think we still would've been able to help you?" Reid couldn't help but ask.

Emily sighed again, closing her eyes to compose herself. "Look, Reid, I can wish for everything that's happened this year to have not happened as much as I know you want… But it just can't go away." She said a bit more icily than she meant to.

Reid sighed, shaking his head. "If only you had told us, then maybe things would have turned out differently." He said, before turning back in his chair to do his work.

Emily did the same, wanting nothing more than to be done with this. _If only you had. _Reid's words stuck with her.

_Yeah, Reid, if only I had. Then you might have ended up dead instead._

* * *

_Hey,_

_If I agree to try and hate you, won't you try and love_

_The me that's beyond caring about your feelings? _

_She that needs you now is gone. _

_She is not here anymore,_

_At all. _

_Hey, _

_It hurts. _

_You know._

* * *

Emily could still feel the high tensions within the team. Everyone's dynamics had been way off for a while now and, for once, the family sense between them practically seemed gone. The river run dry. The sun had set on those times.

The risen agent would have been lying if she said she had never tried to hate them back. Though it had been a short idea, she had considered it as a way to make the pain easier. A selfish side of her wanted to shut them all out for doing the same to her after she fought so hard to protect them. Or had she?

Emily was tired. How much longer could she handle working at the BAU? She wasn't sure. Had it even been right to come back when Strauss offered? Maybe it hadn't.

Maybe the glass that was her old life had been broken permanently. Perhaps it was time to give up trying to glue the shards back together and cutting her hands in the process. Maybe now it was time to go out and search for a new glass.


End file.
